Wednesday, January 9, 2008, 7:23 PM
At the start of year 2008, there is something happened that I really don’t know how to go handling my feeling and my emotion. Because of that thing, my mood was being pushed down to the very bottom. A sudden lost of appetite, insomnia, tear running out, and no motivation to do anything…. But I think now, my mood has come to some sort of “stable” already. At least I can control my emotion this few days, as in, can bring out a smiling face. That also means that meeting my friends out is not a problem anymore. Since that problem occurs on the start of the year, I have no mood to do my reflection on year’07. Therefore, I wish to use this time to post it as well.
Let talk something about my working life first. I entered Sakae since I am in Poly year 1 which is 3rd of October 2005. By 2007, I have been there for 2 years plus already. 2 years is indeed a long period of time, and during this period, my salary keep on rising, from $5.50/hr to $6/hr and lastly to $6.50/hr. Because of the rising pay, it motivated me to keep on striving to do better. As I am a student, working for so long, many start to ask me for reasons why I haven’t leave Sakae, asked why I am not tired scoping with study and part-time job etc. Honestly speaking, I can tell you guys that I am very tired but I enjoy working in there. There are a lot of fun and laughter in there. That is why I still reluctant to leave the company. I made a lot of friends during these periods of time. I met friends from the ex-senior staffs (EnCi, WeiYang, Alex, Hashidah etc.), to my badge (Bryan, Alp etc.), to many others ex-junior staffs (TingYee, HockYong, ZhenLin, Vincent, Linda, Anna, JingShi, WeiXia, Jimmy, Xiang, Caseline, Ben, Reggie etc.) to the current staffs (XuePan, Agnes, Jiamin, JingWei, Jasmine, Cassandra, FeiPeng etc.) and many-many more which I cannot finish mention them here. I do admit that another reason behind it is money. However, honestly speaking, I appreciate making more friends than making more money. That is also why I still in Sakae now despite having to work 2 jobs.
I won’t deny that among all these friends, there are some already become so-called “Hi-Bye” friends already. However, there are still many in contact. Therefore, I will never regret continue working in the company.
For this year’08, leaving Sakae is a must already, I think is around April to July, because I am going into NS. For me, now, I can’t wait to be enlisted although I know the life inside will be very tough. Enlisting in NS is a must route for every Singaporean man. Therefore, I feel that, going in early and going in late is not a different. However, you cannot expect me not to be nervous after all.
For relationship, I always don’t believe that it can last at such a young age. Maybe I have this kind of belief because of many influences by others and also saw many failed r/s around me. I also feel that only after NS, we guy, will be more mature. I think that only meant for me, because I am still very childish. Hehe... Another thing that stop me from stepping into a r/s is because I afraid I can’t used to attached life and also, I am very afraid that my r/s will be a failure as well. Despite all the belief and fear I have, I got up my courage and stepped into a relationship at the start of year’07. However, as what I have believed in, the relationship doesn’t last long. It only last for a short 7 months. Although breaking up is painful, is hurting, I never regret stepping into it because I feel the happiness in it and those happy memories left within me after breaking. However, I regret why last time I never treasure her, am I afraid or what? Or maybe is as I say earlier on; I am still very childish. From this relationship, I also feel that I am being too demanding and too possessive. I feel that I really neglected her feeling when we were together as begin say that people in my zodiac go for perfect. I think is all these little minor things that I did that led us in breaking up.
Well… for now, I should be happy for her as she found her true love again and I am happy for her because from what I see, I think he will bring more happiness to her unlike me. I really hope that they can hold on to each other, treasure each other and overcome all the obstacles in between them.
I also wish to tell him one thing: "I still treat you as one of my friends, just which, I feel it a bit awkward to talk to you again which I think you have the same feeling as well. Maybe some more time is still needed and we can talk to each other again. Hope you still regard me as one of your friends too!" (I don't know what the chance he will see this post, but at least I express it out.)
Anyway, for me, I don’t intend to go into another r/s so soon, maybe after NS. It was mainly because of the fear that I have and also, I don’t want to fall twice in the same mistakes. Another reason is that it takes time to understand a person. They can look very pretty or what, but end up, it might not be the one that suit me. =>
For Study, I have nothing much to comment on, what I can say is… I am a slacker. I have been a slacker since semester 2. Haha… I started my attachment on 9th October 2007 at ABB Industry Pte Ltd. Since I am slacking all the while in school, what you think I will be doing in office? Haha… Anyway, during attachment period, I was quite happy to know many new friends. Some are close friends who can chat, crap and go wild with like Victor, Weiling, Grace, Weekee, Alvin. Without them, I will definitely rot to death in the office. I have a nice supervisor who gives me good advice on the university and course to choose in the future. I appreciate her comments and opinions. She lightens up my future. Smiles!
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